


mourning session

by spacebris



Category: The Outsiders (1983), The Outsiders - S. E. Hinton
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-22
Updated: 2018-07-22
Packaged: 2019-06-14 05:31:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15381756
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spacebris/pseuds/spacebris
Summary: in which ponyboy mourns the loss of johnny and dallas





	mourning session

**Author's Note:**

> [a pretty angsty thing i wrote bc i got bored lol]

it had been nearly a month since the losses of johnny and dallas. no one knew how to deal with it. it was more so… unacknowledged. (as much as it could be, anyway) none of the gang had talked about it, and left their grieving to themselves: alone, in the middle of the night, the occasional sobs every so often as they recall the once happy memories they had with the two deceased boys.

this is what pony had been doing. he was awake at around two in the morning, sitting, facing the wall, a snoozing sodapop on the bed behind him. the desk in front of him was cluttered with miscellaneous papers from school, but, in the top right corner laid the book. the one from johnny. the one with the note. the story the two had read at the church whilst waiting for dallas to come get them. (well, more like pony read, and johnny listened)

pony had found a new meaning for gone with the wind since he read the note. it was no longer just another book, it was from johnny. it was johnny’s book. the last one he had ever read. the last one he held. and, within it was a letter. johnny’s letter. the last thing he had ever written.

pony hesitantly opened the book, finding the page where he kept the letter, slowly pulling it out, as if it was a piece of glass.

_ponyboy,_

_i asked the nurse to give you this book so you could finish it. the doctor came in a while ago but i knew anyway. i keep getting tireder and tireder. listen, i don’t mind dying now. it was worth it. it’s worth saving those kids. their lives are worth more than mine, they have more to live for. some of their parents came by to thank me and i know it was worth it. tell dally it’s worth it. i’m just going to miss you guys._

_i’ve been thinking about it, and that poem, that guy that wrote it, he meant you’re gold when you’re a kid, like green. when you’re a kid everything’s new, dawn. it’s just when you get used to everything that it’s day. like the way you dig sunsets, pony. that’s gold. keep that way, it’s a good way to be. i want you to tell dally to look at one. he’ll probably think you’re crazy, but ask for me. i don’t think he’s ever really seen a sunset. and don’t be so bugged over being a greaser. you still have a lot of time to make yourself be what you want. there’s still lots of good in this world. tell dally. i don’t think he knows._

_your buddy, johnny._

tell dally. he wanted pony to tell dally all these things, and he couldn’t. no matter how bad he wanted to, pony couldn’t tell dally; dally was gone. and, because of this, pony felt a sense of guilt. he was inable to fufil johnny's dying wish, and that killed him inside.

maybe johnny told dally himself? maybe they found each other and talked about everything, and maybe they were watching over the rest of the gang from the sky? pony could only wonder and hope. but, for now, all pony could do was reminisce on all the times they had together.


End file.
